grandma shit on top of the toilet
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
