Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
