This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
