i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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