i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
