I'm gonna have a badass scar
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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