You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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