my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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