Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
