At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
