This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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