I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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