Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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