Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
