i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize