Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize