we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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