Her vagina should come with caution tape.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i drank out of a bidet.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize