dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
