love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
