You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i used baking grease as lip gloss
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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