Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
