We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
