this beer tastes like vomit already
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
