You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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