Swine flu is the new snow day.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
