It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
