yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
