At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
