That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
