So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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