oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize