i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
