So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
