i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
