I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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