How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
