Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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