these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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