I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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