I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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