Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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