Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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