2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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