I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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