Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
