I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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