saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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