Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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