dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
