she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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