we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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