First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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