big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
