She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
