i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
