cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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