My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
