I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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