Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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