Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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